A Song I'm Working On

You're My Best Friend

(rough draft)

I was thirteen, I had a dream
I was a toddler again
Passing by that old playground
She was there, so I stuck around
Ash brown hair blowing everywhere
Sitting sideways on a swing
Running and hiding behind a tree
And looking under rocks
She was climbing up slides
Singing lullabies
And she said
I'm your best friend
We haven't met yet
I've got ten years left
And I want to see
What you've got to show me
So don't walk slowly
If you want to keep up
Stay with me

Middle school dragged me along
A deadweight of preteen lament
But I hadn't spent my days yet
With someone so profound
To make the world stick out
She could blur a crowd
She didn't give a shit,
And I wondered then if she knew
I got pulled out of a box
When she walked in
I didn't know who I was
Or who I wanted to be
Until she said
I'm your best friend
We finally met
Only got ten years left
So I want to see
What you've got to show me
Please don't walk slowly
'Cause I want you to keep up
And stay with me

And the years lapped us by
As we stuck beside each other
Kept on tellin' stories
Her days of glory were all mine too,
But last night I dreamed again...
That she said I'm your best friend
But now we met, and I got to go,
So keep on showing
What you had to show me
I promise it ain't over
But the worlds not going to wait up
So don't walk slowly

And I said you're my best friend
But now we met, and I can't stand
To see you go...
Why can't you stay with me
Veronica, Veronica?
Stay with me
Veronica, my Veronica.

Resilience

Today I am thankful for Verny's resilience. It didn't happen often, but whenever she got embarrassed or mad or just uncomfortable in any way, she would go off by herself and cry a little. Five minutes later, she'd coming back skipping and smiling, as if nothing had happened at all! Verny took the time out to acknowledge her feelings, determine how she felt about them, and find some answer to make her realize that it wasn't worth bringing the rest of her day down. To me, this is true resilience, to confront those moments without hesitation, settle it right away, and then move on to better things. I found this inspiring about Verny, and I've always looked up to and tried my best to follow in those footsteps.

Join Me and Celebrate

Lately I have had to acknowledge, face-to-face, that I need to undergo an attitude change. I have a lot to be thankful for, in the face of life's tragedies, yet I've let missing Verny pull me under a lot in the last few months. Plainly said: It is hard to explore this life in a good light when your best light (Veronica) you can no longer see. Sometimes, at this very moment for instance, I think about my best friend for the blink of an eye, and suddenly all the color seems drained from the world. I'm an underdog without my superhero to follow, or a melody without its harmony.

I have let that empty feeling, for a time, overwhelm and darken my thoughts, and I suspect that some of you reading this may have done so at some point or another, as well. When I constructed my eulogy, I believed in what I said, and it is only fair that if I'm going to issue advise to others, that I follow it as well.

What I know for certain is this: That we are all blessed that Veronica was in our lives at all. How enriched we are to have known her to the extent that we did. She has changed each and every one of us in ways that we will never be able to completely know, because her impact as a righteous human being, towards anyone from loved-one to stranger, was immense and all-encompassing. What a legacy she left us with, a legacy that I'm sure she expects us to continue on.

I have created a pact with myself to acknowledge daily why I am so lucky, thankful, and blessed to have had Verny accompany me on several adventures in my life, and I'd like to invite everyone else to share in that endeavor by posting those reasons, here on this blog. Whatever you write can be as simple or as intricate as you like, just so long as you are able to reach yourself in knowing that you haven't a reason to be sad, and every reason to be happy about Veronica's existence.

:)

Elvis Costello - Veronica (live in '89)